El Guapo Takes Time Out from Skinning Mule Carcasses to Become King of Pisgah

pdd_2015-6El Guapo pretty much made the entire Juggs squad look like a bunch of squirming little zygote piles of wussbag nothingness by completing the epic journey from mere man to King of Pisgah. He had to do a ton of awful sh*t to accomplish it including the Double Dare last weekend where he got on the podium with a Dale’s Pale and said “suck on this universe.” He also won a belt buckle.

Post race, sitting on a burro and drinking from a ceramic jug with three x’s on it, Guapo laid out the DD format:

“The race starts at 12 noon on Saturday and you have 12 hours to reach up to 10 checkpoints,” he said in mangled English barely comprehensible to a modern human. “But first you must complete a time trial to even get your passport book (this year’s time trial was just over 13 miles and took us 1h:37m). Once you have your passport, you have the rest of the day to reach as many checkpoints as you can. This ends at midnight and then starts again at 6am on Sunday, where you have another 12 hours to reach 10 new checkpoints (but no time trial on day 2). And in case you’re worried about not getting enough sleep in between, there’s a short track race at midnight worth an additional 0.5 checkpoints. There’s also music and beer and a selection of fine Guatemalan women to dance with.”

“Unlike PMBAR there’s no map clues provided, just a description of the checkpoint (like a trail location or intersection).  You can reach the checkpoints in any order just like PMBAR, but here there’s nothing at the checkpoints to tell you that it is actually a checkpoint. You need to take a picture of the trail sign or landmark to prove you were there (and hope it’s right). The team with the most check points wins flat out, not fastest time with bonuses like PMBAR. Time is only used if there is a tie with number of checkpoints.”

Checkpoint totals after 2 days =  19.5 checkpoints (9 CPS’s day #1, 0.5 for short track, and 10 CP’s day #2).

Stats:  137 miles, 20,500 ft of elevation, 22h:23m elapsed time

Finished in true Juggernaut fashion with no rear brake the last day, and no rear derailleur cable for the last 10 miles. Score one for Guapo.  pdd_route-1pdd_route-2image1

Angry Cernich Won’t Eat His Cereal

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Submitted by Gorka:

Once again MORE serves up another great MOCO Epic for 2015.  Getting a little rain a few days prior, the trails were just tacky enough to allow the Juggernaut crew to smoke this course down to the roach clip.  Gorka, Angry Cernich, and new Juggernaut initiate Jason Sliwa (aka Pookie), rolled out onto the course at the break of dawn through the morning mist to spend the next 7 hours and 40 minutes riding some of the most buff and flowy single track in the region.  With a rushed handshake and gentlemen’s agreement to ride a reasonable pace (this would be Cernich’s longest distance on the mountain bike and Pookie hadn’t been on one in three years) – that plan was quickly derailed when we crossed paths at aid station 1 with East Coast Dickey and a posse of riders that had begun their ride from DC. Though bourbon and bacon provided a temporary boost at aid station 2, we had to dial it back and bid Dickey and the boys farewell and settle into our own pace that would guide us through the rest of the day.  All in all a fantastic day for the Juggernaut crew with 69.4 miles and 4,739 feet of elevation gain. The stats for the event aren’t bad either: 776 riders, 31,875 miles, 9 aid stations, and 70 cases of beer.

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Straight Outta Brompton

It was just a matter of time before the Juggernaut had a World Champion on their hands. Fang will be wearing the rainbow stripes of the Brompton Veteran World Champion in 2016. Hell, we’re all going to be wearing the rainbow stripes. We’re World Champions through osmosis. The race went down like this: Fang unfolded his bike and put down 10 miles of raw power in the rain while wearing a purple tux. That’s the whole story.

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