The Juggernaut extends a warm welcome to our new teammate – El Guapo.
Hometown: Gran Salamandar de Muerte Basin
Race day diet: bison chunks
Favorite cycling item: horsehair poncho/aztec amulet
Race day soundtrack: lamentations of the women
Hobbies: prison arson, looting
All that is best in the Juggernaut has come to them from the desert: their sense of fellowship, which binds them as members of one tribe; their pride of secrecy; their generosity and sense of hospitality; their dignity and the regard which they have for the dignity of others as fellow human beings; their humor, their courage and patience, the language which they speak and their passionate love of booze.
There is no reticence in the desert. If a Juggernaut distinguishes himself he knows that his fame will be widespread; if he disgraces himself he knows that the story of his shame will inevitably be heard in every encampment. It is this fear of public opinion which enforces at all times the rigid conventions of the desert.
And so it was as the Juggernaut descended upon St. George for the 2015 True Grit Epic. The plans went off like clockwork. Racing, beer gardening, poolside chilling. Professional operation top to bottom. Spectacle dial turned to 11. First time out for El Guapo in a Juggs kit and he spanked it.
We met a guy that looked like Wayne Coyne who told us to check out the Jem trail + Cryptobionic and Goosebumps. He did not steer us wrong.
Could have sworn we saw 50/50 on the course. It might have been a mirage. Might have been a Sasquatch. Either way he has been returned to full Juggernaut status and can now take advantage of all member benefits. Welcome back fitty.
Oh, and we went to Vegas and paid honor to Nikki Sixx’s Harley. Our butler Victor took some pictures of us drinking vodka. It’s good to be a mountain biker, it’s better to be a Juggernaut.