El Guapo Takes Time Out from Skinning Mule Carcasses to Become King of Pisgah

pdd_2015-6El Guapo pretty much made the entire Juggs squad look like a bunch of squirming little zygote piles of wussbag nothingness by completing the epic journey from mere man to King of Pisgah. He had to do a ton of awful sh*t to accomplish it including the Double Dare last weekend where he got on the podium with a Dale’s Pale and said “suck on this universe.” He also won a belt buckle.

Post race, sitting on a burro and drinking from a ceramic jug with three x’s on it, Guapo laid out the DD format:

“The race starts at 12 noon on Saturday and you have 12 hours to reach up to 10 checkpoints,” he said in mangled English barely comprehensible to a modern human. “But first you must complete a time trial to even get your passport book (this year’s time trial was just over 13 miles and took us 1h:37m). Once you have your passport, you have the rest of the day to reach as many checkpoints as you can. This ends at midnight and then starts again at 6am on Sunday, where you have another 12 hours to reach 10 new checkpoints (but no time trial on day 2). And in case you’re worried about not getting enough sleep in between, there’s a short track race at midnight worth an additional 0.5 checkpoints. There’s also music and beer and a selection of fine Guatemalan women to dance with.”

“Unlike PMBAR there’s no map clues provided, just a description of the checkpoint (like a trail location or intersection).  You can reach the checkpoints in any order just like PMBAR, but here there’s nothing at the checkpoints to tell you that it is actually a checkpoint. You need to take a picture of the trail sign or landmark to prove you were there (and hope it’s right). The team with the most check points wins flat out, not fastest time with bonuses like PMBAR. Time is only used if there is a tie with number of checkpoints.”

Checkpoint totals after 2 days =  19.5 checkpoints (9 CPS’s day #1, 0.5 for short track, and 10 CP’s day #2).

Stats:  137 miles, 20,500 ft of elevation, 22h:23m elapsed time

Finished in true Juggernaut fashion with no rear brake the last day, and no rear derailleur cable for the last 10 miles. Score one for Guapo.  pdd_route-1pdd_route-2image1

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