Juggernaut Riders Come Within Two Hours of Winning 18th Annual SM100

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Juggernaut, you must be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way through it. Outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless and shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. If you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. If you put a Juggernaut into the SM100, it becomes the SM100. Be water, Juggernaut. Be the SM100.

It was with these spiritual words of guidance that the Jugg Elite Squad tackled the 18th Annual SM100. El Guapo, Happy Fun Ball, Thor, Gorka, and Pook were all narrowly edged out of the win by a slim 2 hour margin. At the finish, as the top 10 finishers were sealed back into their hyperbaric chambers by their handlers the Juggernauts pounded beer into wee hours of night under an endless blanket of stars begging the question – who were the real winners?

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Awwww yeah, drone footage:

Check out this badass flyover:screen-shot-2016-09-15-at-3-35-07-pm

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Angry Cernich Won’t Eat His Cereal

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Submitted by Gorka:

Once again MORE serves up another great MOCO Epic for 2015.  Getting a little rain a few days prior, the trails were just tacky enough to allow the Juggernaut crew to smoke this course down to the roach clip.  Gorka, Angry Cernich, and new Juggernaut initiate Jason Sliwa (aka Pookie), rolled out onto the course at the break of dawn through the morning mist to spend the next 7 hours and 40 minutes riding some of the most buff and flowy single track in the region.  With a rushed handshake and gentlemen’s agreement to ride a reasonable pace (this would be Cernich’s longest distance on the mountain bike and Pookie hadn’t been on one in three years) – that plan was quickly derailed when we crossed paths at aid station 1 with East Coast Dickey and a posse of riders that had begun their ride from DC. Though bourbon and bacon provided a temporary boost at aid station 2, we had to dial it back and bid Dickey and the boys farewell and settle into our own pace that would guide us through the rest of the day.  All in all a fantastic day for the Juggernaut crew with 69.4 miles and 4,739 feet of elevation gain. The stats for the event aren’t bad either: 776 riders, 31,875 miles, 9 aid stations, and 70 cases of beer.

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Juggernaut Pilgrims Go West, Find Golden Tablets, Establish New Religion

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Lo did the angel Lefefulus command upon the brethren “treasure, good Juggernaut adventurers, is your destiny upon yonder plains of fiery desolation, for I have bequeathed divine golden tablets upon thine encampment, for you shall know the truth, and the truth will allow you to rip many many miles of singletrack.”

And so did the Juggernaut happen upon a stack of golden tablets that will likely rewrite the course of cycling spirituality and the history of the world’s great religions. The dictates of the Juggernaut; benovolence upon humanity, obsessive cycling, unmatched camp circle skills, a love of hop and barley, and the worship of a new class of sub-deities and lesser known imps, has all been confirmed by a higher power in the form of kick ass golden tablets.

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Set forth upon the tablets are the 17 steps to spiritual passage into cycling nirvana. Loyalty and adherence to the code will be strictly enforced.

“I’m looking forward to the 2016 Inquisitions,” said El Guapo. “If you get enough participation from the group and have the right equipment inquisitions can really bring people together.”

El Guapo awakes from a spiritual trance:

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White Dynamite summons lesser known imps:
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The Angel Lefefulus:
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The Juggernaut Summer 2015 training camp. Durango to Moab in 6 days: 240 miles, 24,000 feet of climbing, big weather, thin air, bears, 7 cases of beer. And the Whole Enchilada. THE FREAKING WHOLE ENCHILADA. We set some records.

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Rest day hijinks:

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Moco Epic, Uber Alles

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Wenn sie mounsainbiken, bier und große brüste mögen, dann dieses jahr MOCO Epic wurde speziell für sie gebaut. Juggernaut Elite Squad fahrer Fang, Gorka, und Thor genossen alle aspekte der fahrt. Wie immer, waren sie die ersten kunden auf der hilfe-Station 1 Biergarten. Die fraulein wurden von der kraft des Juggernaut verliebt. Sie baten uns, zu bleiben und füllen unsere jowls, bis inhalten waren es feine biere und genießen ihre geschmeidige brüste. Aber wir nein gesagt. Wir müssen fahren. Das ist, was die Juggernaut zu tun. Und sie weinten.

Viele der Juggernaut abwesend waren von der fahrt, weil sie traurig, traurig männer. Ihre ausreden für nicht reiten es viele:

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“Meine mutter sagte, ich kann nicht mit den realen Juggernauts fahren, bis ich bin ein mann, und ich bin noch nicht ein mann.

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