Little Yeti’s Entire Face Eaten By Bear At Juggernaut Fall 2016 Mountain Bike Camp

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Other than that, nothing but beer, bikes, and badassery.

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Gorka gave mother nature a sensual rub down, and she liked it.

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Serious bridge crossing skillz:screen-shot-2016-10-31-at-3-54-16-pmscreen-shot-2016-10-31-at-3-53-26-pm

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Gorka Gets Drunk and Sleeps in Van During Gran Fondo

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And you may find yourself sleeping in the back of a van
And you may find yourself with a serious morning buzz
And you may find yourself using your socks for a pillow
And you may ask yourself
Well…How did I get here?

While much of the Juggernaut site content is based in outright lies, the story of the 2016 Jeremiah Bishop Gran Fondo is easy to tell. Thor and Pookie knocked out 107 miles of the best of the best, Gorka got drunk and slept in his van.

Click to check out the route:screen-shot-2016-10-12-at-9-16-17-pm

Enjoy the gallery of Pook:

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First Annual Double P*ssy in the Books

11348139_1475178479476767_1585831584_n“First, you two are both pussies. Second, you just chose two pussy routes.” And so it was named, by the ever tactful Hacksaw Hutchins, the Inaugural Juggernaut Double Pussy. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 110 miles and 13,000 feet of climbing on the back roads of West Virginia. Pussy ride for the Juggs, kinda burly otherwise.

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This is where we went:Screen Shot 2015-09-06 at 8.15.32 PMScreen Shot 2015-09-06 at 8.15.05 PM

Impromptu Juggernaut Winter Training Camp

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Put three Juggernauts and a case of beer within the state lines of West Virginia and you have yourself a winter training camp. Big rides up on Long Mountain and Mill Mountain (aka Demons are Real / Kicker of Elves / Smothered in Hugs). Gorka and Dyno came away slightly more tweaked and mangled than when they arrived. Decisions with huge ramifications for the 2015 season were made. Bonfires were lit. Bourbon was consumed. All was right with the universe.

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SM100 Delivers Massive Hammer Blow to Collective Juggernaut Nutsack

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The SM100 handed out a big fat stinking sack of discomfort to the Juggernaut this year. We’re all feeling a bit tired. Not pedaling real lively. Not so excited about inclines. Except Gorka who nearly broke hisĀ  PR of 9:16 but rolled in at 9:17. Denied. Likely because of the unbearable load of bad karma following him everywhere. He also came no where near breaking the all time Juggs SM100 record of 9:07 which will now likely stand forever.

Thor rolled in at 9:52 and proceeded to give himself a lobotomy with a tire lever in order to forget the last 40 miles of riding.

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Fang, wisest of us all, came home in a pickup truck before having to ride the death climb and just sat around and drank beer. Brilliant move sir.